Bellydance has meant so many different things to me over the years.
The first time I saw it, I was a little girl hanging out (or so I thought...turns out I had a really cool babysitter) with a friend of my Mom's who just happened to teach bellydance at the college while she was in classes herself. I loved the smiles on the ladies faces, and the fact that I was allowed to dance with them? Wowsa.
Thus began my love affair with the dance...
Years later, I had almost forgotten my love affair. Life had gotten in the way, and I had forgotten that side of me that longed to create and enjoy myself. Until a friend begged me to take a class at a local rec center.
It felt like I woke up and became me again. (Now, don't get me wrong. I've done theater, which was one of the best times of my life. I have skills - you should see me paint a set floor or carve a carousel horse of of foam - and friends for life, but that too ran it's course.)
To me, bellydance has meant women coming together in support of one another (try shimmying for the first time...it will get you giggling with the girls, trust me!) in a safe place, appreciating their bodies, and one another. Bringing together a sense of community (sounds strange, right?) by sharing the dance not only for joy but helping others. Bellydancers love fundraising events. And then there is the art itself, and sharing that with others.
I didn't become a bellydancer to become famous, which I am so not. The reason I mention this is that it reflects my agenda, if you will. I want to dance with my "sisters," teach, and make myself the best I can be. And enjoy, laugh, and create!
Suddenly, this beautiful art form has become stressful. Sadly, and I won't go into many details, there is an element that has reared it's oddly uncomfortable head.
What kind of shows we perform at, and what we do and why.
The feeling at the heart of our dance, since the beginning, has coincided with my feelings of the dance. This is why I dance with the ladies, but...new members bring in new energies. That I'm not exactly comfortable with, and not sure how to deal with. Everyone takes something different from their experiences, and I'm trying to remember that.
Instead of flying of the immediate handle (I've raged in my mind...it's like my baby, you know?), I've decided to channel that into creation.
New choreo, here I come. I hope you're ready for me...